Thank you for the question, gentle soul. I surely hope you don’t mind my posting this publicly, but it is such a question that I think other people might as - if they have not the courage that you have displayed.
I will give you a few prayers, that I’m taking from the book “Manual of Prayers” that sits on my shelf and is a great source.
I Am Desperate
Saint Anselm of Canterbury (ca. 1033-1109)
I am desperate for your love, Lord. My heart is aflame with fervent passion. When I remember the good things you have done, my heart burns with desire to embrace you. I thirst for you; I hunger for you; I long for you; I sigh for you. I am jealous of your love. What shall I say to you? What can I do for you? Where shall I seek you? I am sick for your love. The joy of my heart turns to dust. My happy laughter reduced to ashes. I want you. I hope for you. My soul is like a widow, bereft of you. Turn to me, and see my tears. Come now, Lord, and I will be comforted. Show me your face, and I shall be saved. Enter my room, and I shall be satisfied. Reveal your beauty, and my joy will be complete.
This next prayer is incredibly dear to my heart. It is very powerful to me. I feel almost vulnerable sharing it, because it’s so close to me. But I know it will be safe with you, gentle soul.
Complete Trust in God
Saint Francis de Sales (1567-1622)
Do not look forward to the changes and chances of this life with fear. Rather, look to them with full confidence that, as they arise, God to whom you belong will in his love enable you to profit by them. He has guided you thus far in life. Do you but hold fast to His dear hand, and He will lead you safely through all trials. Whenever you cannot stand, He will carry you lovingly in His arms. Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow. The same Eternal Father who takes care of you today will take care of you tomorrow, and every day of your life. Either He will shield you from suffering or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then, and put aside all useless thoughts, all vain dreads and all anxious imaginations.
Gentle soul, I hope these help. Know that in your asking this question, you also helped me, as I’ve needed to read more of these prayers and you gave me the push I need to pull this book out again. Bless you, gentle soul.
You will be in my prayers. May the Joy of the Lord fill you heart, mind, body, and soul.
this is important